You always love your partner, however, something curious happens in toxic relationships: when your half is not with you, you “breathe” and are more relaxed. Sometimes, love is not enough, or those who say we love love us in the worst possible way, and this is even more dangerous.
They make us unhappy, do not respect us, and they only offer us jealousy, and insecurity. It is possible that at first glance it seems easy to recognize a toxic relationship, but in reality it is not, and we have all known a relationship of this kind.
When we love a person, we suffer from a cognitive and emotional distortion that prevents us from waking up and opening our eyes. In this article, we invite you to know the most obvious clues of this type of relationship.
The indices of a toxic couple relationship
1. See walls where there were previously doors
It is possible that before your relationship , you were a very independent person. You had your work, and you made your own decisions. You take care of your friendships, go out with your co-workers and quietly plan your daily routine.
But since then, this relationship has plunged you into these realities:
- You can no longer decide what you want to dowithout the prior consent of your partner.
When you tell him that you are going to do something specific. Such as a working dinner, or a shopping trip with a loved one, it is usual for him to forbid it.
- Your life, from evening to morning, is constrained. Living in the middle of a toxic relationship requires you to pay attention to your dress style . Because it can hinder your spouse.
You start to put limits on things that were normal for you before: makeup, private use of your cell phone, home returns a little later than expected, and so on.
- You begin to see clear limits impose on your prospects for the future. Your partner does not necessarily want you to progress professionally.
Overnight, you see obstacles in the way of dreams that were yours.
- From day to day, you build a carapace around you.
2. Your emotional balance is vulnerable, attacked, manipulated
Many people begin their affected relationships with a great passion in which ‘love is very intense, emotions are overflowing, sincere, and whole.
It is normal to offer everything to the person we love. But, remember, it is necessary to love with balance, always paying attention to one’s self-esteem.
- A toxic couple relationship is always based on emotional manipulation. And it is exercised in a very subtle way, and totally destructive.
- Toxic people always look for their own interest. Keep in mind that any manipulator has an unstable personality and very low self-esteem.
This insecurity generates a lack of confidence, a need for control over the partner.
This person is afraid of being abandoned, fears that the person she loves will be robbed, and this drifts into continuous vigilance, into scenes of jealousy, and so on.
- The need for control generates a sense of absolute power, which confers on that toxic person the exclusive ability to make decisions.
If you do not do what your partner asks you, he will use tricks to make you feel guilty, to get victimized, making you believe that you are responsible for everything.
3. A misfortune that grows day by day
You can always be in love with your partner . But something strange happens: when you are not with him, you feel better. You finally have the air you need, and you relax. You begin to envy other more harmonious couples. Where each person respects the space of the other, in which personal fulfillment is possible. You feel pressure and unsatisfied inside yourself. You notice that anything that identified you before is disappearing.
You are no longer the person you were because your personal esteem has dropped to peak, and you feel like broken inside. You must take into account all of this data because it is very common that the emotional weakness in which you may have fallen stigmatizes. This means that anxiety, fear, preoccupations in your daily life are transformed into, for example, headaches, back pain, nausea, chronic pain.
Many people then go to the doctor but do not get proper diagnosis. Your doctor may tell you that you are suffering from migraines, when in reality you have fallen into generated by your misfortune.
How to get out of a toxic relationship?
This may seem strange, but statistical data confirm that a toxic relationship can last for many years.
How is that possible? Primarily due to:
- Women are often afraid of the possible consequencesof a rupture in the couple. They are afraid for their children, or their spouse hurts them.
- Some people also have difficulty conceiving themselves as single. Then they let themselves be carried away and satisfied with this misfortune, for this situation will always be better than a bachelor’s status.
- Sometimes, these relationships last a long time, because the couple continues to love each other. They are hurting themselves, but they do not conceive of another way of living their lives.
To get away from a toxic relationship, it is first necessary to become aware of what is happening and to understand that you will not be happy in this way.
It may be that your friends and family have realized this much before you. Ask them their opinion, look for their support if you need it. The second step is to talk to your partner. Tell him how you feel, talk to him about your feelings, your frustration, your unhappiness.
If you see that he is not doing his part to improve the situation, if you feel that he has no will to change, move away. Your integrity, your tranquility, as well as your physical and emotional health are priority, never doubt it.