We must be aware that accompanying solitude only destroys us little by little. Flee from this situation and enjoy a healthier life. There is one sentence that I have always considered to be of great importance, although I never really dug its meaning: “Better to be alone than badly accompanied.” A good reference to the accompanied solitude, perhaps the most terrible of all.
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If we do not have anyone by his side scared, and even terrify us, imagine being a couple, but with a feeling of loneliness. It is a much more frequent situation than we think. And the problem arises when we do not put an end to this unhealthy situation.
Accompanied solitude and emptiness
The accompanied solitude comes from a deep emptiness that settles in us. A feeling that we think it is possible to eliminate since we are with someone. Of course, you are not alone, at least physically. But a person who is there physically is not necessarily present.
Sometimes it is necessary to pay attention to the signals that show us that we are not so accompanied as that. She does not listen; she does not pay attention to what you tell her. Maybe she pretends to do it but you are aware that this is wrong. You surprise her by asking her questions that she answers side by side. She does not listen to you.
It makes you feel inferior, perhaps without realizing it. Instead of encouraging you, motivating you to pursue your dreams, and moving forward, it discourages you from leaving these “nonsense” aside.
Is everything still your fault? A spouse is there to support us, not to sink into misery. Perhaps you were mistaken, but that does not mean that the person must reject you for fault, leave you to face your problem, and wash your hands.
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Is this a selfish person profile? Without a doubt. But it is a type of personality that predominates in society and from which we must move away. Especially, when we start to feel lonely.
We are not on the side of someone who values us, who values us, who cares for us, who supports us unconditionally … We are with a person who does not give us quality time, which hurts us.
Emotional wounds of accompanied loneliness
You do not have to feel bad, sad, sorry, or disappointed … Accompanied loneliness can have devastating consequences for you, in the long run.
Think it’s like being with a toxic person. She looks at you, consumes you until there is nothing left of you. And suddenly, you begin to suffer from anxiety attacks and depression makes its appearance. Why? The answer is in the person who is with you.
The great difficulty lies in ending this situation. Somehow, your self-esteem drops, down, until you feel guilty about what’s going on.
You even reproach yourself for your own feeling of loneliness.
You begin to use all your efforts to find or regain an emotional connection with the other person, to enable your relationship to become strong, strong, and healthy. You start to fear that your spouse will leave you, that he is leaving because you have not succeeded in resolving things.
You develop emotional dependence and imbalance is increasingly present. You have ceased to be yourself; you have lost your strength in the impossible. If your partner makes you feel lonely, do not blame. You’re not him, you’re you. Better to be Alone than Badly Accompanied
Choose your own loneliness
As you become aware of what is going on, ask for help. It does not matter if you ask for help from your friends, family, or professional. You will not be able to go out alone without someone who supports you.
Once you have left that person behind you, cultivate your own loneliness. The one that you breathed this person was hurting you, so look for yours, choose it. It is healthy loneliness in which you will discover, you know yourself, you will feel safe.
Even if in the past you were afraid, you know today that it is better to be Alone than Badly Accompanied, to feel this healthy loneliness, rather than the one that the other person made you feel. Many people enter our lives to unbalance us. But we cannot forget that this is also a test. These experiences teach us things and enable us to be much stronger. This has not been in vain. And that will not happen again.